sun 9 27 6 am

Well been up for a while, I could be manic thats how I do up very early. My mother is still touch and go. I will never figure out why GOD lets her suffer as she does. She a stroke at 48 and she is 85 and blind and lost the use of her legs. She is miserable. Yet, I call her my ever ready battery she keeps on ticking and ticking. She has conjested hear failure and fluid in her lungs and on oxygen. The next few days will tell. Yet, it has made me look at myself and the fact at my age I could be gone tomarrow. therefore, this week I am updateing my will.
At 57 it hurts top wake up and move, but I guess I do as so many of us, I pop a pain pill and get on with the day. I am realizing as this age many friends have died and I could be next. yet I struggle with the motivation to get off my fanny and excercize, quit smoking and get healthy. When I am manic as we know I can do it all and in one day. Doesn't seem like there are days we cant tell if what we feel is our real self or the BP. This is something I have struggled with now for 8 years. Does anyone else struggle with this feeling. How are others dealing with their parents, college, work, the daily pain and just life. Iwould love some suggestions. Well off to conquer 100 things and proably finish 3 today.
Peace
JB

First Blog

I know the majority of bloggers for Bipolar disorder accept all ages, however, I feel that all of us over 50 years desrve one for just us. We deal with different issues then a 20 or 30 year ols and thats what I want to focus on with this blog. I have had my personal struggles as with all of us deal with any form of mental illness. yet, there are days I cant help but wonder am I feeling or acting this way because of the BP or is it really me. thats always a tough question to answer.
I live with a partner that deals with BP also so I do have a support system, plus I stay in therapy and on my many meds.
I also feel that because of the BP I have had a chance to recreate my life. I was an opitician and business owner before I got sick at 49 and I am now 57 so this illness had not surfaced for the most of my life. Yet, it gave me the oportunity to go to college at 50 and now I am working on a Masters.
I hope all who visits here will enjoy my honesty and will come back often
Peace to all
JB